A ginger.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
TASTE THE RAINBOW BITCH!!!
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
