Stephen Hawking jokes
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
His favorite drink was his dribble.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5