Stephen Hawking jokes

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?

You'll Never Walk Alone.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.