Stephen Hawking jokes

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?

You'll Never Walk Alone.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.