Stephen Hawking jokes
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”