How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
I'll start: Monokuma.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
What starts with F and ends with CK?
Firetruck.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
