Start jokes

Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.

Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.

"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

What starts with F and ends with CK?

Firetruck.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

What did the priest say during the christening?

"So anyway, I started blasting!"