So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
we must start a propaganda for baked beans
2 magicians were in a competition the first one did magic and the second started counting down 3 2 but before he said the last number he 1
Why do a orphan starts with an "O" because they Only see there parents in their dream.
if WW3 starts i do infact belong in the kitchen
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Shorts go up,Pants go down Body to Body, Skin to Skin When its sniff, Stick it in It goes in dry and comes out wet And the longer its in the stronger it gets it comes out dripping and starts to sag
Its not what you think it is its a LIPTON TEA BAG
Get your mind together
ima start callin these hoes roosters cus any cock-A-do
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Why should old womon never eat sea food?
Cuz then she'll start acting crabby.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool
I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.
What starts with F and ends with uck?FIRETRUCK what we’re you thinking
I once saw an orphan... Decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"...... They didn't reply.... I kept asking them.... They started crying.... I started laughing.... They ran away.....
