Start jokes

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

An emo girl dyed her hair red.

Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.

Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!