Stand

Stand Jokes

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheel chair, he is getting bullied but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself

Person: Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?

Stranger: Oh, just go Stand in the middle of the road.

When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?

When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up. Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb.*waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got to violent and now their sister(World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption and the planes were given back to their owners.

Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone. In my theater we had a standing ovation!

My teacher asked the class to stand up if your dumb, no one did so she said “ comon someone must be dumb” and pointed over to the left side of the class room , lil Jonny stands up , “do you think ur dumb ,lil Jonny ?” Asked the teacher ,”no I just feel bad for you , your the only one who who’s stood up “ replied lil Jonny!