Sports jokes

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray!”

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!

Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.

Who's supposed to be the goat?

Why can't orphans play sports?

They don't know what a home team is.

Why can't orphans play football?

Because they can't be on the home team.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

What type of bee can't fly...

Answer: Kobeee!

9/11, also known as the day football stopped.

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is. :)

Why can't Hitler join track?

Because he can't even finish a race.

When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.