What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Sports Jokes
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What is Africa's most famous sport?
The Hunger Games.
Comment your favorite sport.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.
Who's supposed to be the goat?
