Sports jokes
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Memes
if you get this you are a legend
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Cleveland Browns
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
Why can't Asians play Baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.