Sports jokes
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.