Sports jokes

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on juan.

Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Why was the stadium so hot?

Because all the fans left!

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?

Before the first period.

What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?

The New York Jets.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.

2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross-country!!!

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

They both make Black people run faster.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.