Sports jokes

What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.

Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.

Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?

A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.

Why was the stadium so hot?

Because all the fans left!

Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?

A: The size of balls they play with.

What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?

Before the first period.

What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?

The New York Jets.

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.

What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.

What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

They both make Black people run faster.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.