Sports jokes
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
Why couldn't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home! 😂
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!