Sports jokes
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
forgot me smh
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
Rangers are a joke.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.