Sport jokes

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They ain't got no home to run to.

Why don't gays shop at sports authority?

They prefer Dick's.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?

A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?

Gracias.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.

You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.

In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.