Sport jokes
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
kayla?
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.