Sport jokes
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.