Sport jokes
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
Kobe played I Spy and he said, "I spy a mountain."
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
The Chaaaaaaaaaampioooooooooons!
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
Why can’t an orphan play soccer?
If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.
What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.