Sport jokes
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.