Speed Bump

Speed Bump jokes

Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

  • 5

    • You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

    One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

    I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

  • 2

    • What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

  • 4

    • When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

    Then the speed bump starts screaming.

  • 7

    • Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!