New Speed Bump Jokes

I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.

What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.