Sons jokes
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.