My son said that bully needs a pounding then i say Yeah right that is what i said and did to your mother.My son opens his mouth and freezes i guess he knew what i was talking about.
If Kenny had a son we all know he would also be his brother
Mom: hey son, what does idk and idc mean?
Son: i don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: excuse me?
Son: oh, and by the way mum, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite? Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year and he was so ungrateful like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson Could you move your in my son
Onna day Imma going to Malta to bigga hotel In the morning I go downa to eat breakfast, I tell the waitress I want to pieces of toast, She brings me only one piece, I tell her I want to piece, She sais: "go to the toilet", I say: "you nounderstand", I wanna piece on my plate, she says: "you better not piss on your plate you son of a bitch", I don't even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eata at the bigga restaurant, the waitress brings me a spoon and a knive, but no fork, I tell her i wanted a fork, she tella me everyone wanna fuck, i tell: "you don't understand, I wanna fork on my table", she says: "you better not fuck on the table you son of a bitch", I don't even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch
I dont need this shit!
So I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed, call the manager and telling him I wanna a sheet, he tella me go to the toilet, I say: "you don't understand, I wanna sheet on my bed", he says: "you better not shit on my bed you son of a bitch",
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk says 'peace on you', I say 'piss on you too you son of a bitch, Im going back to Italia, ariva derchi'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent
One time Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise. No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style. His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
A kid came from school. His mother said "What did you do in school?" The boy replied "I had sex with my my Teacher" She said "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store The dad said " Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said "I can't, my butt is sore" Dad said "Why is your butt sore" The Boy said "Because I had sex with my teacher".
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?" Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy.... and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the "girl" takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:...... um
Vegan teacher the musical Miss Kadie - oh no you poor dead animal Mr. Beast- 🎶 your a dumb Communist Miss Kadie🎶 Chandler-🎵 yup your one high fluting son of a gun🎵 Mr. Beast- 🎵 I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant🎵 Miss Kadie - 🎵 don’t hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans R us kid🎵 kids- 🎵 we’ve had enough of your problems miss Kadie your such a commie Miss Kadie - 🎵 I just want to die because I’m so sad - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and comits sucide
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
