Sons jokes

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

(Answer)

There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh for god's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.

Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

Sorry, no adults allowed.

Only 3 per person.

What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?

"Bi-son."

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.