Someone jokes

Entertainment

I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!

Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠

Drama

Why the actual f

is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!

Property

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

Hulk

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Class

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

Memes

Head

Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!

"Get your butt out of my face!"

"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"

Vegetable

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

Misfortune

When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

Suicide

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.

All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...

Blow job

Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."

Moment

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

Friend

I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(

Birthday

If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:

"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...

YOU WERE BORN!"

Woman

What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?

A big Mexican woman.

Bomb

When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.

When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.

Orphan

Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.