"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
