Someone jokes

Why do orphans like to have sex?

So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."

Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?

Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."

Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

What do you call someone smart and dead?

Stephen Hawking...

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

What do you call someone with a big butt?

The Thightanic!

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"