Society jokes
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
What can't orphans do?
Be homosexual because they have no home.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Can orphans eat at family restaurants?
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
Why is Cinderella white?
Because she is superior.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Why are Asian's dicks too small?
So they can reset the calculator.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.