Society jokes
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
Girls are whores.
I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.
Because that's what I want.
I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
What would the world be like without women?
A pain in the ass.
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.