What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
Society Jokes
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.
I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
I'm not a robot, but orphans are.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
Why does America have more guns than people?
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.