I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
*Knock Knock* Whos there? Social Services....
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and fascism all have in common? They are all disabilities
I have breakfast with my boys.
Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!
#HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
When I was in highschool, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome. We would get into a circle around her and say “nightmare nightmare”
im autisisc
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
When I try to roast someone; Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii you stink!
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
