I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
I hate it when I don’t understand someone.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Be nice.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Will someone play Roblox Adopt Me with me?
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
"What is your number?" "Hi."
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
