Social Gathering jokes

Restaurant

81 views ·

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

Feminist

10 views ·

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Christmas

16 views ·

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Drink

5 views ·

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

Knife

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"