Social Gathering jokes

Restaurant

98 views ·

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

Feminist

10 views ·

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Christmas

16 views ·

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Drink

5 views ·

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

Knife

1 view ·

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"