Social Gathering jokes

Restaurant

  • Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

    Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

  • 10
  • Christmas

  • I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

  • 1
  • Drink

  • A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

    Knife

  • So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

    Her boyfriend said "Hi."

    I said, "Knife to meet you!"