Social Gathering jokes

I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?

Family gathering.

Who hates going to a pizza party?

A weirdough.

Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.

What were the candles doing at a birthday party?

Getting lit.

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

What do you call a fart in a gay bar?

A mating call.

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?

Be there or B2.

I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.

Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.