If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
