Social Gathering Jokes

Candle

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

Feminist

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Pie

Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.

Funeral

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Drink

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

Christmas

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Party Pooper

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

Man

This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

Math

What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?

Be there or B2.

Priest

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Party

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.