Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.
When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
