Social Event jokes

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.

So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.

Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?

A: Me time.

Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?

They missed the homecoming games.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.

Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?

She had a meltdown.

I hate family reunions.

I see too many of my ex's there.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

What did the house wear to the party? A dress.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.