How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
