I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
