What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why do orphans hate big bags of chips?
Because they are family sized :,)
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
