What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
