Smoking jokes
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.