Sleep

Sleep jokes

Orphan

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

Friend

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

March

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!

Oreo

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

Cowboy

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Memes

Bed

Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?

Traffic

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

Incest

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

Death

Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

Neighbor

I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.

*I was actually up all night watching.*

Father

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Dream

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

Dream

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Depression

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

Bed

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...

  • 1
  • Baby

    "Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."