Sleep jokes
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.