Sleep

Sleep Jokes

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

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Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)

Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."

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After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"

What did one pillow say to the other?

Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you!