Size jokes

Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.

You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.

Your mama so fat she got in to the pool, the water got out and big mama! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"

Yo momma's so fat that she plays pool with planets.

Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.

My wiener's small.

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

Fat moms.

Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.

Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.