Size jokes
Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Yo mama is so fat, she had to snap his finger twice.
Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.