Size jokes
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
Yo mama is so fat, she was the iceberg in Titanic.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.