Size jokes

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?

Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"

What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?

A wee hard man.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

I’m a short joke.

I’m only five feet tall 😞

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.

Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.