Size jokes

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

I’m a short joke.

I’m only five feet tall 😞

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.

Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

Yo mama is so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

"You're fat as a cow."

"......."

"Nope."

I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.

You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊‍♂️

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.

Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.