Situation jokes
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.
Because I am an orphan.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!