I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Here's a joke: Your life.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
My life.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
