Situation jokes
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
What is going on here?
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
Your life is the joke.
These are meannnnn.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!