Shoulder Jokes

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!

Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?

His left shoulder.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?

Hard shoulder.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.

As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.

Then one stops and asks his companion:

"Does this taste funny to you?"

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?

Head and Shoulders. 😊

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

The other day I lost all my crayons.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.