Shoulder jokes
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.
The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"