Short jokes
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
What is the difference between the human rights act and a home?
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
There are people weirder looking than me.
Like who?
Like people with Down syndrome.
"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
You built like you in the 1980's!
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.