What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging
Would you like to try African food??
They would too.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him 🥰🥰🥰
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
Two artists had an art contest. -- It ended in a draw.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked.
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
