Short jokes

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

Would you like to try African food?

They would too.

How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

Wanna hear some famous last words?

"We are just experiencing some turbulence."

An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

If trees could kill you, they wood.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.

Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.

He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"

Doctor: "To the morgue."

Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."

Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰