Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
