Short jokes

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

His gay ass dad.

He pimples?

11/9 is opposite day. The towers fall on the planes instead of 9/11, way.

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

Why did the Twin Towers fall?

They collapsed because of the heat.

Are you a marry, because you are my mother?

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Why did you and Sarah break up?

'Cause she cheetahed on me.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

What is everyone’s favorite class?

None, because people don’t like school.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.