Short jokes
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>