Short jokes
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
So 666-3629, so get it?
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
What's long, white, and thick? My dick.